Michael Turner, RIP

Aw, man ... another bites the dust.  This has been a sad year indeed.

I loved Witchblade.  And he was a phenomenal artist.  Never even knew the bloke was ill as he always came across as such a positive, nice guy.  Bloody hell, this just tears me up inside ...

RIP, mate.

From Aspen Comic's Vince Hernandez -

Hello all,

Unfortunately it's with great sadness that I must inform everyone that Michael Turner tragically passed away last night, June 27th at approximately 10:42 pm in Santa Monica, Ca. Turner had been dealing with recent health complications arisen in the past few weeks. More details concerning Turner's passing, and services, will be given shortly.

Anyone wishing to send their condolences to Michael Turner's family is encouraged to send to:

Aspen MLT, Inc.
C/O Michael Turner
5855 Green Valley Circle, Suite 111
Culver City, CA, 90230

Aspen also encourages anyone wishing to make a charitable donation to please send to Michael Turner's requested charities:

The American Cancer Society

Or

The Make-A-Wish Foundation


Turner was diagnosed with chondrosarcoma (a bone-based cancer that attacks the cartilage) in March of 2000, which ultimately cost him his right hip, a portion of his pelvis and several pounds of bone. Turner was very open about his cancer, making convention appearances throughout the entire time, and never giving in to the illness.

Mike got his major break in comics at Top Cow, where he made his name as the artist on Witchblade with a look that was reminiscent of studio founder Marc Silvestri, but was all his own. His work was highly in demand throughout his career, and he was a frequent cover artist for a diverse number of series over the years. Turner’s style influenced many artists in the new millennium, probably more than Turner himself ever realized.

Turner’s creator-owned Fathom debuted in 1998, and in 2002, he left Top Cow to found his own Aspen MLT, Inc. where he saw Fathom resurface, along with other projects such as Soulfire and Ekos. Turner had done a significant portion of work at DC early in the decade, providing covers for Identity Crisis and Flash, as well as for the “Godfall” arc in the Superman titles (which he co-wrote), and the interior art for “Supergirl from Krypton” in Superman/Batman, where he and writer Jeph Loeb re-introduced Supergirl into the modern DC Universe. More recently, he had been providing variant covers for Marvel titles, such as next month’s Uncanny X-Men #500. At his most recent convention appearances, both Turner, and later Aspen representatives spoke of how the artist was eager to complete his obligations to other companies, so he could finally get back to work on his own projects at Aspen.

Despite his illness, Turner was one of the most upbeat people at conventions and in the industry. He always radiated a sense of humility and gratitude to his fans, and always had time for a quick chat or a smile. In an industry that can and has beat the happiness out of many creators, Mike was resistant to it, and was ever happy to work and talk to his fans, and even talk to the press. From the first moment you met him, you were his friend, and he treated you like he'd known you all his life.

Since his initial diagnosis in 2000, Turner had several ups and downs, but, surely thanks in part to his positive attitude, he was seen as the guy who was going to beat it, and be drawing for years to come - he just had to kick this thing first. Mike was 37.

Hat Prick

This is beyond sick and asinine.  It's like when you catch your husband in bed with another woman and he asks for clemency citing the fact that he used a condom out of concern about your well-being.

Except this is a hundred times worse.

And not only did this imbecile think wearing a condom made the rape right, he made his own daughter a prostitute by giving her about USD2 each violation.

The man, if you can call him that, should be castrated.  While wearing a condom.  Maybe that will mitigate the ball-less wonder of the sick bastard.

Rapist dad: I used condoms

By V. Anbalagan

New Straits Times, Malaysia

2008/06/20

PUTRAJAYA: He used a condom every time he raped his daughter. For that precaution, the rapist said he should get a lighter sentence.

This mitigation riled Court of Appeal judges Tengku Baharudin Shah Tengku Mahmud, Datuk Sulong Matjeraie, Datuk Ahmad Maarop and those in the court gallery.

His counsel S.I. Rajah mitigated that the sentence imposed on the accused was excessive. 

"Justice should be tempered with mercy. 

"The accused used a condom every time he committed the offence," the lawyer said.

"You mean it is okay to rape using a condom?" asked Tengku Baharudin.

Rajah had no reply.

The roti canai seller, now 49, appealed against sentence because he was a first offender and was remorseful for his action.

Four years ago, the Sessions Court in Petaling Jaya sentenced the accused to a total of 36 years in jail and 20 strokes of the rotan on four counts of rape.

Sulong, who delivered the court ruling, said the appellate court found no reason to disturb the sentence of the Sessions Court. 

He said the sentence was appropriate to send a strong message that such an act should not be condoned and to protect society.

According to the facts of the case, the roti canai seller raped the girl between May 2003 and August 2004. 

The offences took place at their home at night when the mother had gone to work.

The victim was then between 11 and 12 years old.

Deputy public prosecutor Aslina Joned told the court that the accused, a father of five, had betrayed the trust of his daughter.

Aslina said the father would give the victim RM5 as a reward every time he raped her.

A class teacher noticed her to be in a state of depression and the girl told her what had happened.

Police arrested the man on Aug 12, 2004, and he pleaded guilty to the charges in the Sessions Court a week later.

On the first three counts, the then Sessions Court judge Nurmala Salim sentenced him to 18 years' jail and five strokes of the rotan for each offence. The sentences to run concurrently.

He was sentenced to a further 18 years' jail and five strokes of the rotan for the fourth count.

Nurmala ordered this sentence to run consecutively.

Algae Fuelled

I saw this article about the Japanese research into another alternative fuel resource.  It's fairly interesting and promising at first sight.  Then you think how this would affect the ecosystem.

If the main resource comes from the sea which makes up a majority of the earth's surface, how would that ultimately affect not just the terrestrial landscape but also the atmosphere?  I can picture the seas drying up, our marine life deteriorating at an alarming rate and even greater stratospheric ozone depletion.

So, the Japanese will look into creating industrialised algae fields.  From the article, we would be talking about serious geographic coverage in order to fuel the world's supply.  So what?  We are going to be one giant algae plantation?  Again, this has serious implications for our ecosystem.

And from the human race's checkered track record, it is highly likely that the natural ocean beds will be ultimately stripped naked to harvest the algae, regardless of the legal and industrialised algae plants.

Maybe high-rise hydroponics algae manufacturing plants?  Something that will not impact our already beleaguered ecosystem?  Surely Mother Nature has had more than her share of nips, tucks and "enhancements" that we should leave her alone before more parts of her falls off like Michael Jackson's nose?

Still, it would be good that we have alternative sources of fuel but when would this end?  We rape and totally destroy one resource after another to fuel our never-ending greed?  Is that what being human is about?

Ah, I think I should go give my brain a rest and have some seaweed soup ...

From The Times

June 14, 2008

Japanese scientists create diesel-producing algae

Leo Lewis, Asia Business Correspondent

Under the gleam of blinding lamps, engulfed by banks of angrily frothing flasks, Makoto Watanabe is plotting a slimy, lurid-green revolution. He has spent his life in search of a species of algae that efficiently “sweats” crude oil, and has finally found it.

Now, exploiting the previously unrecognised power of pondlife, Professor Watanabe dreams of transforming Japan from a voracious energy importer into an oil-exporting nation to rival any member of Opec.

The professor has given himself a decade to effect this seemingly implausible conversion: Japan’s export-led economics have always been shaped by their near 100 per cent dependence on foreign energy. In the present world economic climate, those economics are looking especially fragile.

“I believe I can change Japan within five years,” the Professor told The Times from his laboratory in Tsukuba University. “A couple of years after that, we start changing the world.”

The algae, he believes, will spearhead enormous changes to the way that energy is produced and to the explosive geopolitics that have developed around the global thirst for fossil fuels. They could also overturn the current debate on corn and sugar-based biofuels. It is madness, he says, for humanity to pursue sources of energy that compete with its own stomachs when there is a far purer source that does not sitting in a test tube in his laboratory.

Professor Watanabe’s vision arises from the extraordinary properties of the Botryococcus braunii algae: give the microscopic green strands enough light – and plenty of carbon dioxide – and they excrete oil. The tiny globules of oil that form on the surface of the algae can be easily harvested and then refined using the same “cracking” technologies with which the oil industry now converts crude into everything from jet fuel to plastics.

The Japanese Government has supplied him with hefty grants to work on ways of industrialising the algae cultures. The professor admits that there is much work to be done to bring the financial and environmental costs of creating algae oilfields down to reasonable levels: to meet Japan’s current oil needs would require an algae-filled paddyfield the size of Yorkshire.

But – in laboratory conditions at least – the powers of Botryococcus braunii are astonishing. A field of corn, when converted into biofuel ethanol, may produce about 0.2 tonnes of oil equivalent per hectare. Rapeseed may generate around 1.2 tonnes. Micro algae can theoretically produce between 50 and 140 tonnes using the same plot of land.

The discovery of Botryococcus braunii and its precious excretions has taken years. The oil-producing properties of Botryococcus algae have been known for decades, but the volume and quality varies between species.

There remain, however, substantial obstacles before cars and aircraft are all running on algae. Although field tests have proved that there is little technical difficulty in breeding or harvesting the algae, the sums do not add up. A prospective algae-breeding oil concern would either have to invest billions of dollars in expensive breeder tanks – at a cost of around three times what the oil would sell for on the international market over the lifetime of the tanks – or find an enormous expanse of well-irrigated land in a country where labour can be bought very cheaply. It is for this reason that Professor Watanabe believes the world’s first algae farms will be constructed in countries such as Indonesia or Vietnam.

A Child By Any Other Surname

I know I probably have no place adding my two cents' worth on this issue since I am not Korean nor am I a mother.  But I wondered about the pros and cons and consequences and implications of the legal changing of surnames for children.

Faint not.  I have not suddenly discovered an erstwhile maternal instinct nor developed a biological time bomb in my self-centred body.

I just saw an article in Dramabeans about Korean actress Choi Jin Shil seeking and receiving the right to legally change her children's surnames from that of her ex-husband's to hers.

To be honest, I have no clue who she is but I wondered about the necessity of the action.  Was the ex-husband a raving axe-murderer from whom she wanted to protect her children, thus the change of name to protect their identities?  Or was his surname a really bad one, like Deepshit or Dickwatis, which will bring them eternal grief?

I read further and it appears that Choi felt that she has "no intentions to remarry, her ex-husband had remarried, and she would like to lead her own life and wanted her children to proudly bear her name."  

Hold on.  I am still confused.  OK, what would a remarriage have to do with her children's surnames?  I am not familiar with Korean laws so this is a genuinely inquisitive question.  And so, okay, the ex-mistake had remarried.  Does that mean their two children are any less his children now?  

Choi has been divorced since 2004.  Surely she has been leading her own life since then?  After all, the courts granted permission for the surname change based of the fact that she was the "child-rearing parent" for the past four years.

I understand that Korean women retain their own surname after marriage.  Apparently, the Korean system previously advocated that women were never accepted as a "true" member of their spouses' family and thus carried the stigma of being an outsider by not sharing their husbands' surnames. 

It's rather unfair, isn't it?  After all, you can shag them and have children with them but they are always outsiders?  I sure hope Korean wives enjoy great fringe benefits.

Anyway, the article hastened to assure that the decision is a sound one.  Apparently, when Korean women remarry, the children will take on their new stepfathers' surnames.  I refer back to my first question.  If Choi has decided she will not be considering remarriage, why is that an issue?  Why do it now?  The kids are only 5 and 7 years of age.  Plenty of time to make a decision of such monumental significance.

Choi's rationalising is that the name change is not intended to sever her children's ties with their father but "an affirmation of the care she has given them and an assurance of the relationship" she has with them.  Look, if you have been the sole parent taking care of them, surely they will not forget that so soon?  And what? 18 months of pregnancy was not assurance enough that they are her children?  And to whom is this affirmation for?  Her?  Her children?  Society?

Is imposing her will of surnames on her children a matter of pride for her or her children?

I actually did not even think that deeply about this article till I saw the line that stated Choi's children did not particularly comprehend what the big deal was as they had assumed that the name change was a natural conclusion.  What?  They are 5 and 7 ... most children at that age are still learning to write their names in flowing cursive.

I have nothing against the woman but it seems more like a matter of personal ego massaging than any real logical or sensible long term consideration.

Dramabeans stated that it is forward-thinking to grant Korean women the right to change their children's surnames.  My Korean knowledge is ludicrously limited but I would have thought it would be much more sensible and fair to let the children decide, when they are old enough, whose surname they would like to carry for the rest of their lives.

A surname is not a change of knickers.  You cannot discard or disregard it cavalierly just because you decide you would like to claim your children solely.  They have a right to their father's name.  They should have a right to decide.  When they are ready.

It is enough that parents have such authoritarian rights over their children to decide what they wear, how they cut their hair, what they eat, or which school they should go to.  

By saying that the change of name will not sever the relationship with their father ... I think it smacks a bit of double-talk.  Conversely, if a surname has no relevance to the relation between a child and its parent, why then the pursuit to change it to hers?

Surely the bringing up of a child is to nurture him or her till they discover their own identity?  By changing a fundamental element such as a surname, does it not defeat the purpose?  Would this not subject the children to identity crisis and promote a power-struggle between parents?

I think mothers naturally have a much stronger bond with their children since they tend to be the main care-givers.  The act of breast-feeding and carrying the seed of union in the womb for 9 months is something a father can never share.  Surely letting him experience the joy of seeing his namesake born into this world is a small, acceptable boon?  

Of course, I could be totally wrong and Choi's decision could have immense merit but I wonder.

Stonehenge Unearthed as Burial Site

Well, this theory has actually been lurking for a very long time but recent reports have unearthed, no pun intended, it as a real possibility now.

So, Stonehenge was possibly a giant burial site.  And they even managed to name drop NatGeo to make it credible.  I just wonder if the two blokes who recently went klepto there were in actual fact, gravediggers now.

From the Associated Press comes this article about how new research shows Stonehenge to be a burial site for centuries.  And the surrounding settlements were seasonal homes relating to the famous heritage site.

I can just see it now ... "We're going to our summer vacation home to tend to the graves of a couple of ancestors.  Just a bit of dusting and cropping ..."

Study: Stonehenge was a burial site for centuries

By RANDOLPH E. SCHMID,AP Science WriterAP - Friday, May 30

WASHINGTON - England's enigmatic Stonehenge served as a burial ground from its earliest beginnings and for several hundred years thereafter, new research indicates.

Dating of cremated remains shows burials took place as early as 3000 B.C., when the first ditches around the monument were being built, researchers said Thursday.

And those burials continued for at least 500 years, when the giant stones that mark the mysterious circle were being erected, they said.

"It's now clear that burials were a major component of Stonehenge in all its main stages," said Mike Parker Pearson, archaeology professor at the University of Sheffield in England and head of the Stonehenge Riverside Archaeological Project.

In the past many archaeologists had thought that burials at Stonehenge continued for only about a century, the researchers said.

"Stonehenge was a place of burial from its beginning to its zenith in the mid third millennium B.C. The cremation burial dating to Stonehenge's sarsen stones phase is likely just one of many from this later period of the monument's use and demonstrates that it was still very much a domain of the dead," Parker Pearson said in a statement.

The researchers also excavated homes nearby at Durrington Walls, which they said appeared to be seasonal homes related to Stonehenge.

"It's a quite extraordinary settlement, we've never seen anything like it before," Parker Pearson said. The village appeared to be a land of the living and Stonehenge a land of the ancestors, he said.

There were at least 300 and perhaps as many as 1,000 homes in the village, he said. The small homes were occupied in midwinter and midsummer.

The village also included a circle of wooden pillars, which the researchers have named the Southern Circle. It is oriented toward the midwinter sunrise, the opposite of Stonehenge, which is oriented to the midsummer sunrise.

The research was supported by the National Geographic Society, which discusses Stonehenge in its June magazine and will feature the new burial data on National Geographic Channel on Sunday.

The researchers said the earliest cremation burial was a small group of bones and teeth found in pits called the Aubrey Holes and dated to 3030-2880 B.C., about the time with the first ditch-and-bank monument was being built.

Remains from the surrounding ditch included an adult dated to 2930-2870 B.C., and the most recent cremation, Parker Pearson said, comes from the ditch's northern side and was of a 25-year-old woman. It dated to 2570-2340 B.C., around the time the first arrangements of large sarsen stones appeared at Stonehenge.

According to Parker Pearson's team, this is the first time any of the cremation burials from Stonehenge have been radiocarbon dated. The burials dated by the group were excavated in the 1950s and have been kept at the nearby Salisbury Museum.

In the 1920s an additional 49 cremation burials were dug up at Stonehenge, but all were reburied because they were thought to be of no scientific value, the researchers said.

They estimate that up to 240 people were buried within Stonehenge, all as cremation deposits.

Team member Andrew Chamberlain suggested that that the cremation burials represent the natural deaths of a single elite family and its descendants, perhaps a ruling dynasty.

A clue to this, he said, is the small number of burials in Stonehenge's earliest phase, a number that grows larger in subsequent centuries, as offspring would have multiplied.

Parker Pearson added: "I don't think it was the common people getting buried at Stonehenge _ it was clearly a special place at that time. One has to assume anyone buried there had some good credentials."

The actual building and purpose of Stonehenge remain a mystery that has long drawn speculation from many sources.

And not all archaeologists agree with Parker Pearson's theory.

Indeed, the June issue of National Geographic Magazine quotes Mike Pitts, editor of the journal British Archaeology, as saying some details of the theory are problematic with gaps remaining to be filled. Uses of the landscape in the area for farming and grazing, for example, do not seem compatible with a ritualized place.

"The value of this interpretation is not just the idea of linking stones and ancestors, but that it works with the entire landscape," Pitts was quoted as saying.

Never Apart

Blood is a strange thing. We used to joke that if you even have 1/16th of Maori blood, you can claim all the rights due. Which makes almost anyone eligible.

People with a prince for a great-great-great-grandfather, will still claim royal blood today, even if they live in the projects and work in a kebab shop. It seems the tenuous mixing of white and red plasma clamps a much more tenacious fist onto our psyche than we know.

Having so many different bloodlines and living in so many places means being able to identify with more than your share of cultures, people and beliefs. It also means you are more easily buffeted by the winds of fortune.

As children, we sat at home and cried when we watched the trains derail in india, killing thousands. We wrung our hands and felt divided and torn as we saw the ravages of the Falkland wars. We mutely withstood the sneers and jeers as 911 happened. We made our homes available to refugees during the tsunamis. We kept a vigil as bomb threats overtook Christmas in Germany and worried about each and every relative still remaining at home. We waited at airports to welcome and comfort each distant relative returned from a war-torn country.

We are far flung and stand with our feet on more than one shore. Crimson rivers have strewn the ground where we stood as we shed our blood to protect the land we call home ... even if it was only for a few decades. We have planted and harvested and given back to the land we made our fortunes in. We have silently made offerings and amends, because our actions may be misconstrued in these times of deep distrust and paranoid but understandable suspicion.

This morning, I read the latest criticisms hurled at someone trying to do his part for charity. It made a heart already sorely wrung even more fragile.

I have not said anything about the Sichuan earthquake thus far. It does not mean I do not feel it less, or more. It simple means that some sorrows run so deep that only tears can express the river of grief.

Perhaps only Agnes can understand that the silent sorrow whispers more thunderously than the shouts of lament and platitudes of words.

It is unfortunate that a man donated $100,000 to the Sichuan earthquake rescue efforts and was criticised. Why? Because he was Andy Lau. 

The critics accused him of being stingy since he is such a big and successful celebrity and should and could have donated more. Quite right. How dare he? 

I mean, he only headlined and headed many of the initiatives to aid the rescue work. He wrote two songs and galvanised his other celebrity mates to sing and record the songs to raise money towards the efforts. He also begged all his mates to donate $100,000 each and then led by example by openly donating that amount first. The $100,000 was also set as a standard so there would be no comparison between each donor, so as not to take away from the issue at hand. How ironic.

I am no Andy Lau fan. I do not have any strong positive or negative feelings towards the man. But I think it is such mean-spirited criticism that is crippling charity efforts today. In Korea, it is much the same. Celebrities do not even want to be associated with charity work as it will garner negative publicity with evil-minded individuals accusing them of using it as a public relations tool.

It is true that true charity should be done quietly and without expectations and for the good of the beneficiaries and no one else. However, one of the biggest tool a celebrity has is just that. Their celebrity. They know their mere appearance will inspire fans and groupies to copy their actions. It is why celebrity endorsements work so well.

It is a double edged sword. You help the charity when you use your celebrity. But you get shredded by the critics for being a publicity whore. 

Perhaps that is Andy Lau's greatest sacrifice for the Sichuan earthquake victims. His reputation for their redemption.

Whatever his intentions, you cannot fault him for helping. Perhaps he did it because he is Chinese. Perhaps he did it because he has family and friends in Sichuan. Perhaps he did it because he just happens to like Sichuanese food. Or perhaps he did it because he is simply human.

Even if I disliked the lyrics to his song Promise, I will give a nod towards the man for silently bearing the criticism and not letting that deter or embitter him in his goal to lend a hand.

Rather, I prefer the lyrics, even if the melody is deplorable, of the song Never Apart, which was written specifically for the Sichuan victims. Sung by Jackie Chan, who really should not sing, and with the lyrics by Nan Shu, it is much more meaningful and profound. I apologise for my poor translation and can only hope Agnes can help me clean it up.

生死不離
In life or death we will never be apart
你的夢落在哪裡
Even in the place where your dreams have fallen
想著生活繼續
Life will continue
天空失去了美麗
Even as the sky loses its beauty in darkness
你卻等待夢在明天站起
You're still waiting and hoping to stand up again 
你的呼喊刻在我的血液裡
And your cries are engraved in my blood

生死不離
In life or death we will never be apart
我數秒等你的消息
I count the seconds as I await news of your return
相信生命不息
Holding on to the belief that life will never end
與你祈禱一起呼吸
I say a prayer with you, as I take each breathe with you
我看不到你卻牽掛在心裡
Although I cannot see you, I carry you deep in my heart 
你的目光是我全部的意義
To see your gaze means everything to me

無論你在哪裡
No matter where you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
血脈能創造奇蹟 生命是命題
Our shared blood can create miracles, life is the eternal answer
無論你在哪裡
Wherever you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
手拉著手 生死不離
Hand in hand, we will never be apart

生死不離
In life or death we are never be apart
全世界都被沉寂
The entire world is submerged in silent sorrow
痛苦也不哭泣
Tears unshed even in pain and sorrow
愛是你的傳奇
Love is your legacy
彩虹在風雨後堅強升起
The rainbow will rise in glory after the storm
我在努力看到愛的力氣
Our efforts will flourish from the power of love

無論你在哪裡
No matter where you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
血脈能創造奇蹟 生命是命題
Our shared blood can create miracles, life is the eternal answer
無論你在哪裡
Wherever you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
天裂了 去縫起
The sky has been torn part, let us mend it together

你一絲希望是我全部的動力
One thread of hope is all I need
搭起我的手築成你回家的路基
I raise my hands to form the road for your return home

無論你在哪裡
No matter where you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
血脈能創造奇蹟 生命是命題
Our shared blood can create miracles, life is the eternal answer
無論你在哪裡
Wherever you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
手拉著手 生死不離
Hand in hand, we will never be apart

無論你在哪裡
No matter where you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
血脈能創造奇蹟 大山毅然舉起
Our shared blood can create miracles, life is the eternal answer
無論你在哪裡
Wherever you are
我都要找到你
I will find you
天裂了 去縫起
The sky has been torn part, let us mend it together

手拉著手 生死不離
Holding each other's hand, we will never part in life or death


On that note, some have taken the route of criticising China for its oft-times misguided policies and stands, leveraging unkind statements such as "retribution", "they deserve it", even discussing their population, education and human rights practices in light of the recent tragedy. 

This is not the time to cast blame or to kick a dog when it's down. Whatever a nation's past crimes, real or alleged, a tragedy of this magnitude and sorrow should not be degraded or demeaned. Let us try to maintain some humanity and extend hearts and hands in good will instead of finger wagging. 

Until their land is healed and their people can sleep in peace without tears on pillows ... we should not add to their grief.

Go Away

The silence of footsteps behind

A constant presence eroding the distance

Smiles and conversations flow towards the unsuspecting audience

All they see is unfettered resistance

To shackles of conformity 

Self-centred preoccupation

From whence came this dream?

Or should the semantic evolve to nightmare?

For it instills fear 

Not the clearly defined blood line of physical horror

But of the unknown and unwanted

That cannot be tossed carelessly to the winds

Lurking silently in wait

Behind the darkened curtains of sleep

Always the sense that matrimony misfits

For one who has seen little of the benefits

Logical cogitations of a paper

That cuts and shreds more easily than sabres

Dalliances with many

Heart tangling with few

None ever felt right

The mind's eye just could not sight

Any that shook the conviction

Conjugal bliss is indeed another conviction

Third time pushed

Thrice capitulated

First time he intruded

In a tear-soaked dream in the night

The impending sense of suffocation

Had crept ever closer

Eyes and hands holding tight

Around the heart, chest, hands and feet

To ensure the lack of flight

Cursing the predictability of actions

The trend set in defection

Of unscheduled flight from the chains of matrimony

Two months before the incarceration

That caused all eyes to watch with deep suspicion

And the increase of loving attention

To ensure the glide across the aisle

At night, the eager would-be groom

Holds on with tightening possession

Sleep is both comforting and troubling

Dreams comes in greater procession

But none like this had come before

He came for the first time two months before the wedding

Dark silence was his cladding

Mist and fog swirled like 

Inane smoke machinations from a rock concert

Sensing his presence before sighting

The heart hurts

Fissures pierce jagged shards 

Slow, sure cracks break asunder

The self-imposed peace of acceptance

The tears force bleeding beads of heartache to the surface

Immense surprise at the liquid expressions on the face

Of such happiness and excitement that had mingled

With a lifelong fear of marriage

Such joy and love for the partner

Such devotion and faith for each other

Who now comes in my sleep

To force his attention upon my subconscious?

Remember me

Sensing his presence and still not sighting

It threatens and calls at the same time

Go away

Remember me

Insistence pierce his quiet words

Modulated, sure and gentle

In tone and volume

But plaintive and searing grief 

Hurled from the shadows

Behind those words

My heart had began aching before he spoke

It was as if it recognised the pain

Before it hit

My face had become tear-stained

Before his familiar voice had curled

The two words around my soul

Who are you?

What do you want?

I do not know you

Leave me alone

Remember me

I am the one you love

Remember me

Fear gripped me

Sorrow rended my soul

Tears seared my lips

My arms felt the cold

No warmth could I keep

What are you talking about?

I do not know you

How can I love you?

I only love one 

I have no idea who you are!

Remember me

He is not the one

I am the one

I am the one who loves you

I am the one you love

Remember me

I know of not what you speak

Leave me alone

I have not been with any other

Since I have love this man

How can I love you if I have never met you?

Go away

Leave me alone

He is not the one

Remember me

I am the one you love

Remember me

His shadowy presence cannot be detected

The direction of his words unfathomable

Yet they are unerringly accurate

Sure as arrows they pierce and cut

Through the mists 

Straight to the heart

Eyes try to break through the clouds of dreams

What does he look like?

Who is he?

An almost desperate need to identify

The cause of such shatteringly pain in the heart

That had not ceased since awakening to his call

The anger that he dared to push such unreasoning grief

Unto my complacent peace and joy

That was hard-won and constantly wavering

There he is

The eyes see not

But the heart knows

Face unseen

Body undefined

It is a phantom

That had a sure grip fisted onto a breaking heart

Why is there such sorrow?

Why do I weep so?

Why is my heart breaking?

I do not understand

I am in love with no one except the intended

Have never felt such unexpected heartache 

Who are you?  

Why do you do this?

Go away

Determination firms the shatteringly heart

Blindly turning to run away

Turn around!

Turn around and look at me!

Remember me!

I am the one who loves you!  Remember me!

Turn around!

Remember me!

Now screams of terror burst uncontrollably

No!  Leave me alone! 

I do not know who you are

I cannot remember someone I do not know

Leave me alone!

Leave me alone

Go away!

I wake 

Crying uncontrollable

The heart emits such fiery bursts of pain

I grip my chest in fear of real physical ailment

Sitting upright in the reflected raw colours of glass stained

Tears soaking the pillows and my garment

I am awake

Why does the heart not stop aching?

The nightmare is over

He is gone

Confusion

Swift turn of the head to stare at the sleeping face

Momentary blindness as I wonder who he is

The lack of recognition before realising 

Place, time and circumstance

Guilt as I touch his hand to confirm

You are the one I chose

Shame and guilt compound as he seeks my touch in his sleep

As if to reassure himself I am not gone

To somewhere he cannot hold on 

Holding his hand reluctantly

Somehow feeling like an adulterer

That someone has been wronged

Resting back on the pillow

The beginning of a distance between the promise

Sobs still rendering sleep impossible

Fear

What 

Who

Why

Finally overcome by weariness

A new day

Determined forgetfulness

Never mentioned

And ultimately forgotten

Until the day when marriage dissolved

In the midst of angry words and threats

In the hidden sanctuary of avoidance

In the insistence of space and time

In the stalking of an angry soon-to-be-ex-spouse

The dream returned

Ruthlessly 

Remember me

Startled from the fogs of forgetfulness

Crafted from the need for peace

And a chance for the chosen

The memory of the past encounter return

The heartache and sorrow the same

The questions and answers remain

Remember me

Turn around and look at me

Remember me

Go away

Leave me alone

The stalking dream returns once in a while

The script unchanging

The period of rest between disturbance varies

To lull into a sense of security that coincidence tarries

An anger builds

How dare he?

A rebellion stirs

Even as a fear grows

No shackles

No more

No belief in soulmates

Such silly romanticism 

A mockery of intelligence and sanity

The concept even insults the mind

Barricaded against the temerity

Of the dream that haunts and plague

Logical explanations must abound

My mind and sanity both sound

But it plagues enough that 

Desire for further entanglements 

Dissolve

Wariness in case one should both be the salve

And catalyst

For the torment of dreams involved

In making me eschew 

Disavow

There is no one

No one to remember

A festering hatred for those words

Startled fear when they are heard

Instant anger at their power

To disturb the much wanted and fought for

Peace 

Do not make my heart bleed

Do not bring tears to me at night

Do not ask for my love

Do not wait for me around the corner

Do not hide in the shadows

Do not call out to me

I do not want this

Leave me alone

Go away

I now remember you

Remember you as one who stalks me

When I deserve peace

Leave me alone

Go away