Gambian Gay Beheading

Let us all pray ...

To the Creator above, below, sideways, upside down, spread-eagle, downward dog pose, whatever, and whatever and in whichever language you would like to be called today, please enlighten your humble confused.

I, in all my behemoth ignorance, am having a crisis of faith.

That is, my faith in common sense and logical thinking.  But obviously, the two concepts are not compatible with the word "faith".  Not that I am trying to be blasphemous, oh Mighty One who might strike me down with righteous lightning from on high.

I humbly submit my confession of total confusion and ignorance.  I beg for a sign.  A sign that I should stop reading the newspapers, watching any form of information broadcasts and surfing the net.  In fact, I think I should just stop reading full stop.  And I am also reconsidering this whole con-job of thinking.

It is your servants of moral good who have brought my ungodly thought processes to light.  I do not know which division of the Heaven squad they are from but they're good.  Real good.

God's Squad Team Leader aka President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia recently shook me out from my erroneous ways by threatening to behead all gays if they do not leave Gambia.  I had no idea that that is the latest directive from you, Lord of all things big and small, but not beheaded.  I confess I was misled into thinking gay people were also human and therefore considered one of your children.  I had no idea they were adopted!

It was that Satan fella, wasn't it?  They're all his love-children and he tried to pass them off as one of yours.  That's just so wrong.  

I'd always treated them as mates.  In fact, I even claimed some of them as best mates.  I am so sorry, Lord, that I was such an unwitting minion of evil.  From now on, I shall walk the straight and narrow path and threaten to behead any of them who try to be in my vicinity.

I would also like to recommend President Yahya Jammeh (by the way, I love his name because in your infinite wisdom you gave him a name that means arrogant in Indonesian ... which he is not, of course ... so clever!) for the Angel Network award.  You know, the one started by your lobbyist.  Yes, the tupperware party circuit organised by that Ms Oprah who mans your lobby.

Anyway, I think his speech to announce this latest directive was incredibly touching.  I can even quote it ad verbatim, with the help of the Sydney Morning Herald.

"The Gambia is a country of believers ... sinful and immoral practices (such) as homosexuality will not be tolerated in this country," the president told a crowd at a political rally on May 15, local journalists told AFP on Thursday.

My God, I admit I am a trifle slow as it's taking me quite a while to figure out out what kind of believers Gambians are.  And it does not help that I keep hearing the tune of "I'm a believer ..." which causes my hips to shake and my feet to tap.  All terribly inappropriate for reading missives of religious doctrines.

Actually, if you do not mind terribly, oh Saviour of all threatened by the scourge of homosexuality, can you just drop me a hint of what the Gambian are believers of, please?  You can either leave me a voicemail, text me or IM me, Lord.  I am also on Facebook.  I can My Friend you, OK?

Anyway, back to your promised land of Gambia.  It is obvious they are your chosen people, Lord, for why else would they be the only ones chosen to be cured of Aids?  You are infinitely wise and loving to withhold your favour from the rest of the world who condone such sinful and sordid practises of sodomy.  Tough love is much needed.

President Jammeh went on the mountain-tops (no, I did not so hear the lyrics "The hills are alive ...") and told his people that you have given them the "miracle" cure for HIV and Aids in January this year.  What a lovely New Year gift, Lord.  I am not complaining that all I got was the flu because I know now that it was probably because I went out partying with my gay former-friends.  I now realise my sins.

The treatment is based on medicinal plants and a Koranic verse, which I think is so fantastic.  I am so stoked that it's all organic, without using chemicals.  Like even the Scientologists will be able to use this, if and when they accept that the Koran is pre-Thetan and Hubbard.  

I wish your chosen people in Gambia had greater faith and did not have to be ordered to give up their Aids antiretroviral drugs.  But I know you can get through this as you did in the old days when you had to send blights, locusts and the such to every household to convince them that you could cure diseases.  Maybe if they had radio then and you could tome, "Dr Love is in the house ..."

Like if you can bring it, you can take it away, ya know?  They should really just put their trust in you.  

But President Jammeh is keeping the faith and what a fine example he is setting for the infidels.  I think you should promote him to Prophet status.  Not that I am telling you what to do, of course, Lord.  I'm just saying ...  maybe a little something something for this fine crusader of God.

Alright, I have to go now, Lord, as you know I have to go find that Koranic verse and do some herb gathering.  Ya think you could like maybe help me out here by putting an X on the right page in the Koran and on the spot where the weed is growing?  

* Please note that title of post should be recited to the tune of one of Bob Marley's songs.

How Much Is That Doggie's Life on Youtube?

This is the second shocking video I have seen or heard about in a night from Youtube.  Seriously, they need to do something about filtering.  Instead of spending so much time cracking on the arses of people who share anime or telly series, they should focus on not allowing such horrific videos from being broadcast.

From The Telegraph came this appalling story about a US marine throwing a puppy off a gully in Iraq.  Worse, they actually videotaped this and showed it on Youtube.  I am beyond horrified.

Smiling US Marine throws puppy off Iraq hill

By Bonnie Malkin

Last Updated: 1:54am GMT 06/03/2008

The American army is investigating shocking footage of a grinning Marine throwing a yelping puppy into a gully in Iraq. YouTube has since removed the footage The clip, which has prompted fierce criticism of the military, appeared on video sharing site YouTube. It has since been removed. It showed two Marines dressed in combat gear, one holding the young dog by the scruff of its neck. The dog, which looks about eight weeks old, is motionless. "Cute little puppy, huh?", one Marine can be heard saying. "Oh so cute, so cute little puppy," the other responds in a child-like voice. The Marine holding the dog then turns and throws it into the ravine below. The animal can be heard yelping until it hits the ground. A spokesman for the American military condemned the video as "shocking and deplorable" and said an investigation was underway into the incident. Marine spokesman Major Chris Perrine said the culprit was believed to be based in Hawaii. "We do not tolerate this type of behaviour and will take appropriate action," he said.

Clear Media, Muddy Agendas

I just listened to the most fascinating radio show from Gliossip with Ian Halperin about Scientology.  The kicker was the unexpected call-in from infamous, anti-Scientologist Arne Lerma.

Frankly, I had no clue who both were until the article in Gliossip and then I started reading a little about them.  

I'm not sure about Arne Lerma as I think he probably is not the most objective person but he sure had interesting tales to share.

But Ian Halperin.   He's written a few expose and I wonder at how he manages to go undercover with such a high profile.  I say high because if you are an uncover investigative reporter, the last thing you'd want is your picture featured anywhere, what more everywhere.

Anyway, here is the link to the totally fascinating radio interview.  It's long but very informative.

I also found an incredibly funny parody of Tom Cruise's Clear speech which cracked me up.  I have no clue who the guy is but he's good.

Hallyu So Ignorant

I really like the ladies at Go Fug Yourself but sometimes they are just so ... so ... American.

How can you live in a country with such a large Korean population and know next to nothing about their culture that you could poke fun at their culture inadvertently?

The moment I saw Sandra Oh's gown at the SAG Awards, I knew she was wearing a modernised version on the hanbok.  I rather liked the sanguine reference.

So it was with some eye rolling that I read their slap down of Sandra Oh's fashion styling.  

At least they posted their little apology after someone obviously pointed out their insular ignorance.

Sweeping Statement

You know .. you write just a couple of articles about them Scientologists and next thing you know, everyone and their cousin is sending you snippets of info about them. You have every intention to stop writing about them in case people assume you have an unhealthy obsession with them ... then more ludicrous information falls into your hot little hands.

Apparently, author Ian Halperin went undercover, as a gay man seeking a cure from the Scientologists, in order to write his expose on them. During the course of his sting, he claims he asked a Scientology recruiter in Los Angeles the following question and received the following disturbing reply.

The facts (according to him) are these:

Halperin: Have you been wondering who Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, who died in 1986, would vote for to be President?

Criminon: "I can tell you who shouldn’t be President - Barack Obama, Condoleezza Rice and the Rev. Al Sharpton. They should not be allowed to run for office, they should be sweeping the office.”

When I expressed reservations about the validity of this statement, my source sent me a direct quote from Master Hubbard himself, apparently to his second wife, before he left to go back to Thetan or wherever ...

Spotting wife doing housework, he said: “You shouldn’t be scrubbing the floor on your hands and knees. Get yourself a nigger; that’s what they’re born for”.

As I pick my jaw off the ground, tell me something. Am I naive but do people who presumably had some level of education really, really think like that? If so, how can Jaida Pinkett-Smith ever been culled into an organisation like that ... that so disrespects her people?

Alright, I shall not criticise since I am not African-American but if this is indeed true, I am totally appalled.