CLICK HERE FOR THOUSANDS OF FREE BLOGGER TEMPLATES »

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Honey Pot

When you were young, did you ever help a friend out by being bait?


You know, when a female friend suspects her boyfriend of being a player or cheating on her and wants to confirm her suspicions?  She calls upon a female friend whom the boyfriend does not know or knows very slightly and sets a trap for him?

When I was young and clueless, I was asked by female friends to provide this aid on a few occasions.  I never said yes because I think it is insulting.  Not to the boyfriend!  I couldn't give a rat's arse.  But to me!

It made me feel like some kind of Venus flytrap and made me wonder at how they really saw me.

Back then, I did not know there was a name for such an activity and that a career could be made from it.  Hmmm, perhaps I should have been more open-minded?

I think not though as I am notoriously bad-tempered and contemptuous of cheaters and players.  At the first sign of loose hands and advancing lips, I might have done some damage to the target.

Still, reading the article from The Sydney Morning Herald made me wonder.  I am of two minds.  Is honey trapping wrong and entrapment?  Or is it a necessary evil?  Who is worse?  The honey trapper or the honey trapped?  Or the one who sets up the honey trap?  It's all rather sordid and I think I need a nice glass of wine now.

Private eye defends "honey trapping"


February 15, 2008 

When Richard Martinez goes to a nightclub or bar, he often goes alone.

But the 38-year-old former RAF officer wastes no time in heading for a target - a woman - to flirt with and flatter.

Martinez will not try too hard, but will allow himself to be drawn into conversation and, if asked, will give out his phone number for a potential future date.

Martinez is a "honey trapper" - or as he likes to call himself, an "integrity tester" - one of a growing team of private detectives who are hired by wives, husbands or partners to test the loyalty of their loved ones.

"It's growing all the time," he says of his business, the Expedite Detective Agency (www.ex-da.com), which charges £300 ($588) for an integrity test on a potential cheat.

Martinez refutes accusations of marriage-wrecking, arguing that his customers come to him when they are already concerned about their partner's fidelity or when rumours have led them to suspect an affair. But he admits around 80 per cent of targets fail the test and turn out to be ready and willing to cheat on a partner.

Martinez and his colleagues - he has a team of male and female trappers, some more, some less attractive - record the whole "hit" on audio and video, so that the customer can see for themselves how the evening develops.

And Martinez has "rules of engagement": The target must not be drunk, there must be no touching, and the relative attractiveness of the trapper to the target must be equal.

"It's got to be a fair test," he explains. "So we make sure that we don't set a very attractive honey trapper on a not so attractive target, and vice versa."

"The customer needs a fair answer to the question of whether their husband or girlfriend is loyal."

Martinez says that while many of his customers may end their relationships, other use the honey trap to confront unfaithful lovers and appeal to them to change their ways.

"So we can also act as a deterrent," he says. "The customer can say to their partner: 'I caught you this time and I want you to change' and they can warn that they will use the honey trap service in the future to test them again."

He shrugs off criticism that he is fostering mistrust, and insists he is meeting a real need among British couples. But while Martinez is unashamed about what he does, other such detective agencies are more reticent.

At UK Honey Traps, a service based in Worcestershire in the heart of England and offering trappers across the country, they are not keen to talk.

"We don't talk to journalists," a spokesman said by telephone. "It wouldn't help our business."

They are, however, looking for new recruits.

Under the vacancies section of their Web site, the detective service is on the look-out for "confident, bubbly, outgoing men and women with an ability to think on their feet".

Becoming a honey trapper demands reliability, honesty and accuracy, it says, and because most of the trapping takes place outside office hours, it can offer "an ideal second career".

Reuters

Boobed Out


Poor Any Winehouse just could not cut a break before the Grammys, could she?  Not content making her entry into the US as difficult as possible, she was also made to cover up the tattoo of a naked woman on her arm.


The Grammys producers took objection to the inked body part ... the boob on the naked woman, not Wino's arm, although we cannot be 100% sure of that too.

She was asked to cover it up even for her performance via satellite from London.  

So poor Wino resourcefully used her signature eyeliner to draw a pair of black cutlets over the boobs.

I am rolling my eyes within my black eyelinered eyes.

Photo from Dlisted.

Funny versus Hunky

There was a recent discussion about our fave characters in some of our fave telly programmes. 

Grissom from CSI featured heavily with MM threatening bodily harm for jello-stakes at this grey-haired, epitome of nerd appeal. Hey, I like him too but am still shallow enough to find Warrick much more my speed. 

Still, it made me think. I know of many very funny and intellectual blokes who, at first glance, look like the fella who used to sit at the front of the class and wore coke-bottled glasses. Yet, in their adulthood, many of them scored supermodelly stunners.

Why?

Because I think a lot of women would take funny over hunky.

Better yet, couple funny with intelligence and you'll have women falling over themselves. Usually in surprise. Which is then a good time to swoop in for the kill.

Some of my friends are stand-up comics. One of them has harvested a career on a bumbling village idiot routine. For some reason, many people think stand-up comics are idiots just because they make a living out of punch lines. Or in Steve Martin's case, non punch lines.

Do they have any idea how hard it is to come up with funny material that works again and again and is fresh and disarming? The mental dexterity to produce instant, cutting one-liners to fend off hecklers? 

I've seen my friend work material over and over again just for that split second of laughter. His usual genial, plump face would furrow and he would chew on his lip till it bleeds as he torments himself over lines and pentameter. 

Being funny is hard work. 

I see it like art. It is no less than what we do to find that perfect balance of beauty, expression, ego, total submission, giving, control, vulnerability and strength. There is a trust and blind faith in what you do. Being out there places everything you are into the hands of a bunch of people you do not know. Your sense of self is up for rendering or lifting.

One of my favourite comediennes is Steve Martin. He never fails to slay me because his comedy is of the sneaky, intelligent humour that can still lapse into total slapstick and physical goofiness that completely throws you off.

He looks like your boring uncle who might show up in an Argyle sweater & socks. He tells the jokes that makes your uncle pee in his Argyle sweater & socks. 

When I read an article in The Smithsonian website about how he derived his blend of comedy, it solidified a very healthy respect for and admiration of this superbly talented man. 

Go there and read up his i
nsightful and well-written article if you have the time. I throughly enjoyed it and am looking forward to getting his book.

Toned Down Kids

I'm not particularly fond of children. They're fine from afar and from someone else but I rather they kept their distance.

Of course there are exceptions like MM's brood, only because they are so well-behaved. At least when I happened to be around.

But still, kids should be allowed to be kids. They are not miniature adults who have to conform to all sorts of prejudices and bias and restrictions. These will come with age unfortunately and they will have to learn how to cope as they do - hopefully with their parents' and family's support and guidance.

An article in AP made me angry. OK, mildly angry. OK, more like strongly disturbed, gearing up to angry. I have not had my coffee yet so give me time ...

A Swedish pre-school in Gallivare, north of Stockholm, has banned its children from wearing striped and spotted clothing. No, no, not together ... (OK, maybe together too). The reason is because the patterns gave one of the teachers severe migraines.

Wow, talk about fascist fashion police. 

"Daaaahhhling, stripes are so passe! And you look all spotty! Oh, my eyes! Oh my head! Woe is me. Let's ban the lil tots from wearing them." 

Apparently this ban has been in place in one of the areas for three years but only recently reached nationwide attention. 

Myran preschool Principal May Norberg said the ban had never caused any problems. Until now.

The parents understandably complained. I think they should make the kids wear checks and busy florals in neon colours just to prove their point.

According to the AP article, "Some researchers claim that striped, spotted or even checkered patterns can cause migraines since they affect the brain and the eye's visual impressions.

"They project a certain light and can be very disturbing," said Professor Lars Forsgren at Umea University.

Anita Israelsson, a spokeswoman at the Swedish Work Environment Authority, said the clothing ban, since it deals with people's work environment, does not violate Swedish law and is usually handled by individual workplaces."


We had a statistics lecturer who used to show up in tight checks and stripes. We finally had to draw straws to see who had to go up to her and request that she wore plain clothes for the lessons. Our eyes were starting to cross as we could not differentiate between her clothes and the grid on the board after a while. I remember we were all terribly embarrassed and worried that we would hurt her feelings.

Fortunately she understood after we hurriedly assured her that it was only for the statistics classes and her dresses were fab for any other classes where we did not have to focus on grids and such.

Some requests are reasonable but to make the kids stifle their clothing choices because of a teacher's inability to cope optically is quite ridiculous.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Double Take

This post threw me for a loop. Not because of the headline that announced that OJ was a woman-beater ... oh wow, colour me surprised ... but because I scrolled down.

The fact that the blogger quoted the National Enquirer as a source did not lend confidence. I was ready to gloss over the article ... till I saw the picture of OJ's badly-battered babe.

Take a look.  And I'm not talking about her tatas.

Did chills just go down your spine?

Talk about doing a double take.  



OJ Says Badly Battered Girlfriend Fell Down.
From
Celebitchy

I’m old enough to remember the OJ Simpson double murder trial, in which photos of a bruised and battered Nicole Brown, OJ’s murdered ex wife, were presented as evidence. Brown put the pictures of herself along with her will and newspaper clippings about a 1989 beating she suffered at the hands of her husband in a safety deposit box “just in case.”

Now OJ’s longterm girlfriend, Christie Prody, has suffered a beating so severe that she was bleeding from her brain, with one police officer saying it was the worst case he’d ever seen. OJ’s explanation for Prody’s multiple injuries, including abrasions on her face and bruises all over her body, is that she was drunk and fell down. Prody tested negative for alcohol when she arrived at the hospital. She had been away for about a week and a half before she returned to OJ in Miami and was either beaten senseless or “fell down”

Prody suffered a severe head injury and massive bruises all over her body, sources told The ENQUIRER.

While O.J. says that Prody’s injuries are self-inflicted and explained that the 32-year-old woman went on a drunken binge and fell down, cops aren’t convinced, insiders say.

Investigators said from the damage to Prody’s body, they believe she was beaten. One detective said he has never seen such severe bruises on a woman before.

Police detectives are questioning Simpson at his home today, and are conducting an ongoing investigation into what happened to Prody.

Prody, 32, was rushed to a Baptist Memorial Hospital in Miami Feb 11 after she collapsed at a local gas station.

Police were alerted by hospital authorities after doctors found she 
was bleeding from her brain — and also had numerous large bruises and abrasions on her face, arms, legs and buttocks.

Prody had spent ten days with O.J.’s friends in San Antonio until she returned to Miami on Feb. 11. Simpson was with her until Feb. 4 when he returned to his Kendall home.

Simpson told police Prody’s wounds were self inflicted and that she had been on a drinking binge.

When Prody was brought into the hospital, there was no trace of alcohol in her blood, sources told The ENQUIRER.

[From The National Enquirer website]

Simpson has been free on bail in his conspiracy armed robbery case since about mid January despite stiffing his bail bondsman twice and violating the terms of his bail by contacting one of his co-defendants. Simpson and five men held up two sports memorabilia dealers in Las Vegas on September 16th of last year and OJ and two of his conspirators are awaiting trial. Three of the men have accepted plea bargains for their roles in the crime.


It makes you sick to your stomach to think that this guy committed such a heinous crime when he should have been in jail. He was let go under a month ago after being jailed for violating bail by contacting another defendant in his case. His bail bondsman turned him in when he failed to pay him a dime and then asked him to talk to one of his codefendants for him despite the fact that it was strictly prohibited. Prosecutors asked the judge to keep him in jail until his April 4 trial date, but she let him out with a warning.

At least this woman lived and hopefully she won’t have lasting injuries or any brain damage. I read the full manuscript of OJ’s “hypothetical” “If I Did It” book, which was available online shortly last year, and he seemed to be trying to justify double murder, if he really did it and all, and described how Nicole angered him by having candles and music playing when OJ stopped by. OJ caught Ron Goldman arriving with an envelope and accused him of delivering drugs. Ron vehemently denied that he was bringing drugs and showed OJ the sunglasses that Nicole had left at the restaurant where he works. According to the manuscript, OJ just happened to be there with a knife in his hand, and he had a friend with him, who is presumed to have been his accomplice. OJ never described the actual murders, just before when he was in a rage and after, when he was confused to find that he was covered in blood.

Maybe OJ will finally go away for a very long time now that he faces charges for armed robbery along with beating his girlfriend so severely that her brain bled. It may have taken 20 years, but at least OJ will finally spend some significant time, maybe even the rest of his life, in prison.

Image of Christie Prody is from September of 2007. Thanks to Splash News for these photos.

Update: TMZ says that they contacted police, who told them that OJ is not a suspect and that Prudy’s injuries are consistent with a bad fall she took at the gas station. And I was so ready to call him guilty of battering his girlfriend.

Whether he is guilty of physically abusing his women or not, he is at least consistent, is he not?  She's the splitting image of Nicole Brown.

A Streetcar Banned Desire

I think they should do the same in India but getting basic rights for women is already an ordeal. Trying to lobby for single-sex transportation would be considered a "luxury" for women's long-term wish lists.

This might work for train service in Japan though. Fortunately, when I had to take the train the few times, a very gallant colleague always tried to "shield" me and made sure I was unmolested throughout the ride.

On one of my study stints in Asia, I had to take the bus for a few months to and from school before my grandma managed to sort out the transportation situation. It was, and still is, fairly common for perverts to molest young school girls in that particular city but I was still fairly taken aback when I felt a hand creeping on my arse one day.

Now, this particular pervert was not very bright. It had been raining that morning and I had a big-arse brolly of the sort old people would double up as a walking stick.

So, hand on arse. Brolly on balls. 

The bus was so crowded, I could not raise my brolly to hit him over the head or poke him in the eye without hurting innocent by-standers. So I hit him in the balls with the handle, jabbed his feet and elbowed him in the face as he crouched down to cup his family jewels.

Then I shouted to the bus-driver to stop the bus so we could get down while I continue to kick his arse before I kicked him to the police station.

The bus-driver helped me kick his arse. I was a little peeved and wanted to ask him to get his own pervert. But I was well brought up so I just thanked him prettily. After all, he pissed off a whole bus-load of people when he detoured the bus to bring us to the nearest police station.

Therefore, I totally understand why these plucky Mexican ladies finally stood up for a hassle-free ride. It's sexual discrimination, totally. But I can absolutely empathise. Maybe they can get a single-sex bus for men to even things up. 

On Mexico's single-sex buses, relief from unwanted contact
By Marc Lacey
Monday, February 11, 2008
IHT


MEXICO CITY: Body-to-body contact is inescapable on Mexico City's crowded public transportation system. Get on a train or a bus during rush hour and a man in a business suit may have his arm resting against your shoulder, a woman toting a bulky shopping bag may have her back pressed against your flank, and a teenager listening to an iPod may tap his sneaker all over your newly shined left shoe.

But many women complain that not all the contact is incidental. Among the 22 million passengers who use the bus and subway system daily, women say, are lecherous men taking advantage of the cheek-to-jowl conditions to leer and grope and then quietly disappear.

"There are good men in Mexico, but they're not the ones on public transport," said Mariana Vasquez, 30, who waited to board a bus recently on her way to a job interview at a law firm. "They try to touch you. They don't give you a seat. Where are the gentlemen?"

One place they are not is on new women-only buses that Mexico City began running in January to reduce the harassment. With pink placards and insistent drivers who growl at any man who tries to step aboard, the buses are quickly becoming a hit among women.

"Woo-hoo!" bellowed Catalina Garduño the other day as man after man was turned away from the bus she was riding. Her outbursts animated the other women on board, who joined in the celebration. As they rolled along Paseo de la Reforma on their way home from work, the atmosphere resembled a ladies' night on wheels.

Their relief reached beyond their escape from being accosted physically.

"We don't get paid as much as they, yet we work just as hard," said Garduño, a saleswoman. "We are tired of their machismo. We don't feel sorry for them at all."

A few rows back, Abigail Llanes, 21, expressed a similar sentiment.

"We get to sit now," she said, beaming. "It's great."

As complaints of harassment have grown, Mexico has experimented over the years with various remedies. Some subway cars have been reserved for women. Some buses allow women, disabled people and those with children to use designated entrances at the front. But the new buses may be the boldest approach so far.

Men's reactions run the gamut. Some declare the program discriminatory. Some curse at the bus drivers who leave them standing at the curb.

Plenty of men, though, say they endorse the idea.

"We have no respect," Adolfo Flores, 30, a law student, said of the unseemly way many men treat women.

Flores was getting his shoes shined as buses passed by behind him. The shoeshine man, Esteban Hernández, 57, piped in with his own theory about the groping.

"We have the animal instinct," he said, smiling. Touching a woman, he said, "is a way of showing masculinity — it's very bad."

Just how bad the abuse problem — which is raised by women in cities the world over — has become in Mexico is difficult to say. Last year, just seven women lodged official complaints of harassment on Mexico City's buses. There are more reports of sexual incidents on the subways, with roughly one a day filed with the authorities. But Mexican officials believe those figures do not reflect the full extent of the problem.

"Most women don't report what happens to them," said Ariadna Montiel, who directs the public bus system, noting that as a young architecture student years ago she traveled by public transportation and experienced the harassment firsthand. "I know it's a serious problem."

Montiel said she had no intention of neglecting men. "We have to guarantee that all users are taken care of," she said, adding that coed buses roll along in close proximity to the women's buses to ensure that nobody is waiting too long.

Passengers say the atmosphere aboard women's buses is entirely different. As the buses become more popular, and crowded, some women politely offer their seats to others. And, they say, the lechers are gone.

Still, the experiment cannot solve the underlying problem of how the sexes interact in the metropolis. Only four of the city's bus routes have women-only buses. That number will rise to 15 in the months ahead, but coed buses will remain the rule in most areas.

To complement the single-sex buses, the Institute of Women in Mexico City, a government body that promotes opportunities for women, is pushing a public education campaign to make clear to men that inappropriate touching is illegal. In March, a new ordinance will make it easier to prosecute those found harassing women in public places.

"This is not against men," insisted Martha Lucia Micher Camarena, the institute's director general. "This is positive discrimination that responds to the demands of women. And it's also for men because it protects their daughters, sisters and mothers."

Happy VD Candies


Here's what I would send if I could be arsed.

Leave Your Weapons At The Door

I've always thought that psychiatrists, and anyone in the same type of field, place considerable personal danger upon themselves with their mode of operation. It doesn't matter if the mental and/or emotional issue is "small" or seemingly harmless. Anyone can snap at a moment's notice. Being totally alone in a room with someone with such issues while trying to evoke or dig these up is highly hazardous, I think.

During a convo one afternoon a long time ago, we asked a psychiatrist friend if she had ever thought of installing metal detectors and doing bag and body searches on her patients before they even step into her clinic.

She admitted that she had but it was against the amendments and medical code to do so. It's probably rather off-putting to be so distrusted by someone you are seeking help from for trust issues, I guess.

Still, if someone snaps, they really do not need to bring a cleaver or gun into the clinic. In a rage, a pen or letter opener are extremely useful weapons. And having another person in the room like a nurse would probably break some sort of doctor-patient confidentiality clause. Maybe a doctor-nurse-patient confidentiality clause should be considered. And ex-wrestlers and cops can now get retirement jobs as nurses cum bouncer.

From the gothamist,

FEBRUARY 13, 2008
Upper East Side Psychologist Murdered; Patient Suspected


A psychologist was slashed to death in her office building at 79th Street and York last night. Another therapist was seriously injured; the suspect is still at large.

Police believe that Dr. Kathryn Faughey was killed by a patient during a 9PM session. Dr. Kent Shinback, a colleague in the same practice, ran into Faughey's office when he heard her screaming and tried to stop the patient, but he was, per the Daily News, "slashed numerous times in the face and neck." The suspect, described as a white middle-aged male with blond/light hair, fled, possibly through the basement.

Two weapons were found, a meat cleaver and a 9-inch knife, both bent from the force of the attacks. A doorman told the Post he saw the suspect go into the building but not out, "He looked like a psycho." And a police source told the News the attack was very vicious: "Lots of anger. This was clearly personal."

Faughey, who lived across the street, had a website where she described her style as "cognitive behavioral - tailored to fit the individual. My specialty is pinpointing the issues; developing techniques to resolve them." She even recognized issues about "online intimacy," like "monitoring the ex" through "IM, myspace, facebook, blogs, etc."

Shinbach is in serious but stable condition at New York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill Cornell. Their office manager Darlene Yeats said, "[Faughey]'s a wonderful, loving person who didn't deserve this. She was so close with all of us. I'm shocked and devastated. I'm at a loss for words." 

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Indian Signs


I saw a series of incredibly hilarious Indian signs on Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa that I just had to share. For those of you who have spent some time in India or are Indian, you'll get the humour immediately. For those of you less privileged , use your imagination.

This is the international sign for Customs, as according to AIGA, the professional association for design. 

Now here is what the Customs sign in India should look like.


The universal symbol for Elevator is just plain "disinformation" as bewailed by Doing Jalsa and Showing Jilpa and he proceeds to show us how it should look like in India.



The international symbol for fire extinguisher looks like this.

And here's what fire extinguishers looks like in India.


Here's the extremely confusing sign for Litter used internationally. Confusing if you are Indian that is.

This is more like what you will see in India.

Franklin Speaking - Holy Tatas!

I think Dolly Parton should have consulted Aretha Franklin before she ended up in bed for 6-8 weeks.

The woman has to be twice the size of Miz Parton and she's still mobile.

How this is achieved has been the source of much fervent discussion and study and scholars over at
Holy Candy have finally found the mother lode.
It's all in the construction. It has been discovered that the Queen of Soul has devoted herself to the betterment of mankind. Casting aside her own musical career, Ms Franklin has allowed herself to be the cast for a new anti-gravity device. Higgs Bosom, I mean Boson, particle research has benefited from Her Highness' largess in lending her body to science.

And here is the structural blueprint of the new anti-gravity device.



RESPECT, Your Majesty.


Parton Me While I Lay Down

Remember when I wrote about Miz Parton and made all those jokes about her headlights in Hello Dolly?

Well, I feel kinda bad now as the poor burdened warbler has had to cancel her North American tour and is now condemned to 6-8 weeks' of bed rest.

Reason? Bad back. 

Reason for bad back? Blame the tits.

Crushed by this twin set-back, Miz Parton still retains enough humour to announce, "Hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems." She apparently named each - "shock" and "awe" respectively and has been known to remark, "I don't know if I'm supporting them or they're supporting me."

Gotta love the woman. Brassy balls, good humour, head screwed on the right way and no bs. Hope she gets back to her bouncy self again soon.


Had lunch with an old friend who bemoaned the rising prices of property in a time when they suddenly found themselves with three properties on hand.

Having been a hausfrau for a long time, the prospect of having to return to the workforce just to manage the mortgages on all three properties is a horrifying one with much dramatic rolling of eyes, grimaces and woeful quivering of lips.

In other words, she was having a ball lamenting her fate.

She's a funny kid with a droll sense of humour and a self-professed love of doing nothing but shopping and lunching.

Their current house is next to a church that is frequented by the yuppies and bourgeoisie. Every Saturday and Sunday, the cars line up right up to their gates, both illegally and legally parked as their owners enter en mass into the house of God to hear His word.

Usually, the devotees would drive their poshest cars to church even if they live within 15 easy walking minutes' distance. It is an opportunity to display their wealth and positions.

We made snarky gasps of amazement that they did not have chauffeured cars as that would eliminate the need for parking. Trust the nouveau riche to be clueless.

Anyway, her husband is a Catholic but she is a forcibly converted one who is more comfortable in being spiritual than religious. She occasionally goes to church with him under duress and with the promise of a nice prezzie after.

So, having to deal with a battalion of cars blocking their gate and street when they leave for Sunday brunch is a reprehensible crime to her.

She recounted how she would call the police to remove the vehicles as a Sunday routine.

I commented that it was a trite bit unChristianly, driving her into a tirade against th equally hellish behaviour in blocking their way in and out of their own estate.

I jokingly said she should just take a loud speaker into the church. Get her husband to tome in his deep, authoritarian voice,

"Hark, would the driver of vehicle no. XXXX please remove your car from the gates of heaven. Amen."

Which would prompt some to declare they heard the voice of God and others to start jotting down the numbers so they could buy lottery.

She piped in that some might even burst into hallelujahs.

It was two rather hysterical women who rolled out of the restaurant for some coffee and cakes.

I am sure we are driving straight to hell after this.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Sweet N Low-Down

Here's the latest low-down on artificial sweeteners. It's not working.

Two posts in a day about weight-loss. No, I am not obsessed. True, I did put on a little bit of weight in the last two weeks from the non-stop feasting but only in one area.

I actually read about this a couple of days ago but decided to post the article as a continuation on a theme today.

When I was younger, lots of my colleagues were perpetually on a diet or some weight-loss quick scheme. Artificial sweeteners were par for the course for most of them. We had a strict mandate to maintain our weight under a rather stringent limit and everyone was always scrambling for the Sweet N Low at tea time.

I never liked it. The saccharine, bitter-sweet after-taste put me off my food. Which will not do, as I love food. I rather exercise for hours than to be deprived of food. 

Also, there was always something about the chemical taste and composition of artificial sweeteners that made me nervous and dubious. I was always convinced that some weird-arse side effect will rear its ugly head somewhere down the line. 

Furthermore, I really did not see much difference in weight in the friends who swore by Sweet N Low & Equal.

So this article did not surprise me. The only surprise is that it took so long before they came to this realisation.

Sunday, Feb. 10, 2008
Can Sugar Substitutes Make You Fat?
By Alice Park
Time Inc.


When it comes to dieting, most of us are willing to resort to a trick or two to help us curb our appetite and eat less — drinking water to fill up when we're hungry, for example, or opting for artificial sweeteners instead of sugar to get the same satisfying sweetness without the offending calories. But new research suggests that the body is not so easily fooled, and that sugar substitutes are no key to weight loss — perhaps helping to explain why, despite a plethora of low-calorie food and drink, Americans are heavier than ever.

In a series of experiments, scientists at Purdue University compared weight gain and eating habits in rats whose diets were supplemented with sweetened food containing either zero-calorie saccharin or sugar. The report, published in Behavioral Neuroscience, presents some counterintuitive findings: Animals fed with artificially sweetened yogurt over a two-week period consumed more calories and gained more weight — mostly in the form of fat — than Animals eating yogurt flavored with glucose, a natural, high-calorie sweetener. It's a continuation of work the Purdue group began in 2004, when they reported that Animals consuming saccharin-sweetened liquids and snacks tended to eat more than Animals fed high-calorie, sweetened foods. The new study, say the scientists, offers stronger evidence that how we eat may depend on automatic, conditioned responses to food that are beyond our control.

What they mean is that like Pavlov's dog, trained to salivate at the sound of a bell, Animals are similarly trained to anticipate lots of calories when they taste something sweet — in nature, sweet foods are usually loaded with calories. When an Animal eats a saccharin-flavored food with no calories, however — disrupting the sweetness and calorie link — the Animal tends to eat more and gain more weight, the new study shows. The study was even able to document at the physiological level that Animals given artificial sweeteners responded differently to their food than those eating high-calorie sweetened foods. The sugar-fed rats, for example, showed the expected uptick in core body temperature at mealtime, corresponding to their anticipation of a bolus of calories that they would need to start burning off — a sort of metabolic revving of the energy engines. The saccharin-fed Animals, on the other hand, showed no such rise in temperature. "The Animals that had the artificial sweetener appear to have a different anticipatory response," says Susan Swithers, a professor of psychological sciences at Purdue University and a co-author of the study. "They don't anticipate as many calories arriving." The net result is a more sluggish metabolism that stores, rather than burns, incoming excess calories.

Swithers stops short of saying that the Animals in her study were compelled to overeat to compensate for phantom calories. But she says that the study does suggest artificial sweeteners somehow disrupt the body's ability to regulate incoming calories. "It's still a bit of a mystery why they are overeating, but we definitely have evidence that the Animals getting artificially sweetened yogurt end up eating more calories than the ones getting calorically sweetened yogurt."

Though it's premature to generalize based on Animal results that the same phenomena would hold true in people, Swithers says, she notes that other human studies have already shown a similar effect. A University of Texas Health Science Center survey in 2005 found that people who drink diet soft drinks may actually gain weight; in that study, for every can of diet soda people consumed each day, there was a 41% increased risk of being overweight. So even though her findings were in Animals, says Swithers, they could lead to a better understanding of how the human body responds to food, and explain why eating low-calorie foods doesn't always lead to weight loss. "There is lots of evidence that we learn about the consequences about eating food," she says. "And we have physiological responses to food that are conditioned."

So does that mean you should ditch the artificial sweeteners and welcome sugar back into your life? Not exactly. Excess sugar in the diet can lead to diabetes and heart disease, even independent of its effect on weight. But it's worth remembering that when it comes to counting calories, it's not just the ones you eat that you have to worry about. The calories you give up matter too, and they may very well reappear in that extra helping of pasta or dessert that your body demands. Your body may actually be keeping better count than you are.


But you know what I love? People who go to McDonald's and ask for a Diet Coke right after ordering a Big Mac Meal ... upsized.

Glossed Over Truth - Get Lippy With It


I love makeup. I am girly enough to gush over a cool lip gloss or a brilliant new shade of eye shadow. So when I received the latest ad for a new lip gloss, I was fairly open minded and interested.

Too Faced Cosmetics (if you still do not get a clue with that name, I have a bridge to sell you) recently launched a new lip gloss entitled Fuze Slenderised Guilt Free lip gloss.

Why slenderised and guilt free?

Because this fruit-flavoured lip gloss professes to suppress your appetite with "the same mix of minerals and ingredients found in Coca-Cola's Fuze energy fruit drinks".

The blend of the minerals chromium and L-carnitine, along a hydroxycitric acide extract called Super Citrimax, in Fuze is touted to enable the size-challenged "to drink a full bottle of the beverage to get the promised hunger-easing metabolism boost". 

The rocket scientist founder of Too Faced, Jerrod Blandino, claims that "the skin on the lips is very thin" so you "will ingest some of it" and that this is "playing with nutritional science in a girly way".

Since when is Coke Fuze a nutritional resource?

Nutritionists have, of course, been thin-lipped over this and given Too Faced some lip.

They wag that there's no hard evidence linking these [Coke Fuze & Fuze SGF] products to weight loss. One even expounded that you might lose weight if you kept putting on the flavored lip gloss which would be a distraction from eating, similar to chewing sugar-free gum.

What utter bollocks. 

My theory is that lip gloss would only work as a weight-loss tool if it tastes like absolute shite. It tastes so bad, you would rather bite your own tongue off than lick your lips. You will be tight-lipped throughout the day rather than risk the accidental inhalation and tasting of the noxious balm. You will cease to eat. Voila, weight loss.

I can say this with full confidence as I abhor Chanel lip sticks. Not because I am anti-Franco or dislike the shades. But because their lip sticks are tragically vile-tasting. 

Every time someone slicked a Chanel on my lips, I would cringe. It was the most torturous (and hungry) experience when Chanel was the official sponsor. The bitter, medicinal chemical taste would put a pained grimace on my face. Now that is a good weight loss tool.

See, Chanel? Never let it be said I did not give you some love ...

May God Strike Lightning ...

Today's photo is an amazing one from Rio de Janeiro. Christ the Redeemer had a light-bulb moment. The largest statue in the world was struck by lightning on Sunday during a megastorm that also felled trees in surrounding neighbourhoods.

There was no parting of the seas which is a bit of a disappointment. Christ was not hurt by the bolt from the sky. Maybe Papa decided not to preach and just went Old School on Sunday.

I sure hope I am not gonna be struck by lightning for this post.

Any Wineshouse

Everyone's talking about Any Winehouse's almost clean sweep at the Grammys. I did not watch it and did not really have the time or inclination to do so. 

But I did watch the clip of her performance in London that was broadcast at the Grammys. I liked it. It was classic Wino and I've always enjoyed her singing, songs and voice.

It was probably a good thing she did not attend the awards show as the tart sting of sour grapes would probably have sent her packing to the nearest crack house.

Surprisingly, many older and more established (sometimes also known as has-beens) singers started lambasting Wino's eligibility for the awards given to her at the Grammys.

Foresooth, they decried, she is not worthy! Natalie Cole loudly pronounced, 

”I don’t think she should have won. I think it sends a bad message to our young people who are trying to get into this business, the ones who are trying to do it right and really trying to keep themselves together. We have to stop rewarding bad behavior.”

I’m sorry. I think the girl is talented, gifted, but it’s not right for her to be able to have her cake and eat it too. She needs to get herself together.”

I mean, she could die. This isn’t something that’s cute and fun just to throw around in the press. The girl really has a problem, and I think for those of us who have been in the business long enough, we know the sacrifice it takes. This is about discipline and hard work, and you don’t get to just do your drugs and go onstage and get rewarded.”


That Natalie Cole could deride her amused me greatly as the woman used to be an inveterate substance abuser herself. And if I remember correctly the last Grammy she won was in the 90s.

Even seemingly objective reporters spat venom at the substance suffocated singer with comments like, 

"I don’t believe that we, as a viewing and purchasing audience, should reward those in positions of fame when they wilfully and knowingly act in ways that are illegal, immoral, and detrimental to themselves and their fans. Too many so-called “stars” are rewarded for acting like jerks when they should be punished for such behavior, whether that be by the law or by our closed wallets."

I think they're all missing the point. Wino won her awards for being an artist, not a human being, flawed or otherwise. She was judged on the merit of her work, not her screw ups.

The Grammy is given out on this criteria - 

"Recording Academy members and record companies enter recordings and music videos released during the eligibility year which they consider worthy of recognition in the GRAMMY Awards process."

Whether you approve of Wino's messed up lifestyle or not, it does not change the fact the woman has talent and manifested these in a brilliant album and record. To take that away from her under the guise of concern and poorly-disguised envy and jealousy is more cracked up than her habit.

Does her self-destructive path diminish her talent and the merit of her work? Do we have a right to deny an artist her due as a creative genius just because we do not approve of her lifestyle?

I say No, No, No ...


One For The Road

You really have to watch your own back when you're constantly on the road. The usual rules for any traveller applies and it is really a matter of common sense.

Most people assume that female travellers are at greater risk but women, realising that they are prime targets, tend to be more cautious when on their own. Men, however, seem to believe in their own invincibility.

I've seen many male colleagues commit truly stupid mistakes when on the road. One-night stands is the biggest weakness for them and often with a high element of danger thrown in.

It's none of my beeswax and I usually just ignore their shenanigans but this latest article just proves my point that I know a lot of stupid men.

Rolex-wearers targeted by female drink-doctorers

Going to Dallas?

Men might want to leave that Rolex home and be wary of accepting a drink from a flirtatious stranger.

According to a Dallas Morning News story, a group of women has been targeting traveling men. They reportedly flirt in bars, cars and hotel rooms and then flee with the men's belongings. In one case, a 37-year-old Tampa businessman staying at the W Dallas-Victory hotel told police two women accosted him in the lounge and bought him a beer. When he woke up back in his room, he said his $4,000 Rolex watch, wallet, iPod and a laptop were gone.

According to the newspaper, a half-dozen men have reported thefts and many are from out of town. Several of the men sported Rolexes when they were approached.

The story says one victim was robbed while dancing in a hotel elevator. So be careful out there; police think not all victims have reported such crimes. If you have been ripped off by predatory females in Dallas or elsewhere, let authorities know. They think this may be happening in other cities, too.


Er ... no shite. This happens everywhere, mate.

Orange Paris Hilton's PR


This explains a lot.  This man is apparently Paris Hilton's publicist.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Wigged Out Hot Momma


Growing up, I constantly heard people comment that my mom looked like Cher. Yes, she did. No, she did not dress like her ... thank the Lord. Yes, she sang as badly as her.

Cher has had many style disasters (remember the blonde do? Shudder) but this latest is truly a class on its own. What cretin convinced her that ill-fitting wig was in?

I think I saw that monstrosity in a drag show just last week. 

But the truly scary thing is that she still looks like mom except mine had redder hair ... Mom, that you?

Yo, 1, 2 and a 1, 2, 3, ...


This is what happens when rappers try to get a day job as accountants ...

Come On Lines


I've always been ambiguous about Jack Nicholson. Great actor. Bit of an arsehole.

Apparently, this is his favourite come-on line which he claims is a fail-safe tactic. 

Goes up to victim of choice and say, "When did you become preggers?"

The shock factor allegedly throws the women off and gets his buns in their ovens.

Charming.


Dude, back away from the schlongwich.

Be My Teddy Bear

Imagine if Elvis had sang his song about teddy bears differently ...

I come from a family with a strange and sometimes awkward mix of races, nationalities, backgrounds and of course, religions. The Muslim and Catholic family factions have co-existed harmoniously in a fairly live-and-let-live mutual agreement for decades. So growing up, I have been exposed to both religious doctrines.

Therefore, it is with no disrespect or bias when I say ... Bollocks. Bollocks to incarcerating and sending a woman home just because she tried to be an accommodating and good teacher.

Bollocks for turning a symbol of comfort and universal child-like innocence into a religious battle-axe.

Bollocks to making education a platform for teaching intolerance.

Bollocks to punishing instead of enlightening ignorance.


British teacher jailed over teddy bear arrives home
By Steve Meller and Kate Kelland
Tue Dec 4, 2007

LONDON (Reuters) - A British teacher jailed in Sudan for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Mohammad arrived in London on Tuesday after being pardoned and said she had been well treated in prison and was sorry to leave the country.

A smiling Gillian Gibbons was met by her son John and daughter Jessica at Heathrow airport after her flight touched down at around 0705 GMT.

"It has been an ordeal, but I would like you to know that I was well treated in prison and everybody was very kind to me," Gibbons told reporters. "I was very sorry to leave Sudan. I had a fabulous time there."

Gibbons, sentenced last week to 15 days in jail for insulting Islam, flew home from Khartoum with two prominent British Muslim legislators who had appealed to the Sudanese president for her early release.

Gibbons, 54, let her pupils at Khartoum's private Unity High School pick their favorite name for a teddy bear as part of a project in September.

Twenty out of 23 of them chose Mohammad -- a popular boy's name in Sudan, as well as the name of Islam's Prophet -- but a member of staff complained to the authorities.

Gibbons apologized for any distress she might have caused the people of Sudan. She has said she encountered "nothing but kindness and generosity from the Sudanese people".

Prime Minister Gordon Brown, whose country has had strained relations with Sudan for several years, mainly because of the conflict in Darfur, said he was "delighted and relieved" to hear Gibbons had been pardoned and freed.

Two British peers, Baroness Sayeeda Warsi and Lord Ahmed, went to Sudan at the weekend in a private initiative to try to secure Gibbons' early release.

Her pardon and release was announced while they were meeting President Omar Hassan al-Bashir on Monday and they left Khartoum later in the day.

Many Sudanese said they thought Gibbons' action was an innocent mistake which could be forgiven after an apology.

Sudan's influential Council of Muslim Scholars urged the government on Sunday not to pardon Gibbons, saying it would damage Khartoum's reputation among Muslims around the world.

Gibbons thanked all those who had helped secure her release and said she was glad to be back in Britain and eager to spend some quiet time with her family.

"I'm a little shocked at all the media attention I have been getting and I am looking forward to seeing my family and friends and having a good rest," she told reporters at the airport. "I am hoping that you will give me space in order to do that."

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Bite Your Tongue


It's a good thing I'd already had my lunch as this article puts a foul taste on my mouth.

They always say hospital food is terrible but in Slovenia, it is not just a tongue in cheek statement.

A doctor was having a bite to eat in the hospital canteen when he spotted a strange piece of meat in his chicken risotto. Can I just say here that is is quite a marvel that he could identify it as "strange" as I have always been unable to sort out the mystery meat objects in hospital canteens.

Anyway, he complained about it and after some intense bickering, where the doctor insisted that it was not chicken, they actually sent it for tests. I certainly hope that it was not a state hospital as the idea that tax funds could be used so arbitrarily for expensive tests on mystery meat objects in hospital canteens ... well, I'll just bite my tongue.

When the tests came back, they were horrified to discover that it was part of a human tongue.

Much tongue wagging later, they concluded that a doctor must have accidentally dropped it into the food.

Raises hand. Question: Why would a doctor be walking around the canteen with a human tongue? Oh oh, and why was he so near the kitchen? Is there a Dr Hannibal at the hospital? There are more questions at the tip of my tongue but we'll leave it here.

Inspectors have since closed the canteen in Izola, southern Slovenia, to review hygiene standards. I think they should also go around reviewing who's missing a tongue as well.

A hospital spokesman insisted: "I can say clearly that we have never used patients' parts in any of our dishes."

Yes, you can mate since you're not the one missing a tongue. 

Speechless indeed.