Thursday, January 24, 2008

Hello Dolly!

It's been ages since I've heard anything from Dolly Parton.  Which is a good thing as I detest country & western music with a passion and would rather be skinned alive, my teeth ground into my skull and my toenails ingrown than listen to it.

Still, I quite like Miz Parton.  I like how she's unabashedly herself and has not tried to pimp herself to keep with the times.  She's funny, outspoken, direct and no bull-shite.  I like her eccentricity.  And I like how she's true to and the first to take the mickey out of herself.

The woman's alright.  If she would only not sing ...

Photo from

Reported in recently -

Country legend Dolly Parton refuses to conform to contemporary fashion trends - because she's happiest when dressed like "a whore". The 9 To 5 star - who has admitted having extensive cosmetic surgery - believes her trashy image is the secret to her successful career.

The 62-year-old says, "People know I have no taste, no style, no class. If I have any class it's all low. A cartoon character is how I see myself and it's worked for me for 40 years. Even after I got enough money where I could afford to dress properly, what kind of fun would that be? Hell, they know I look like a whore. No matter how much I spend or how I dress, I'm still gonna look cheap."

Parton, who visited the U.K. last year to promote childhood literacy, dismisses her position in a recent poll of the top 100 Greatest Living Geniuses.

She says, "I rather be a cartoon than a genius!"

Hey, Mz Parton, take a look at Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Any Winehouse.  At least you have the taste to dress in a way that does not involve your knickers or boobs completely released to the wilds.  I think you have class ... true, it may be low but that means it has space to grow.  And frankly I rather take your idea of low class over many hypocritical, sanctimonious notions of superiority.  

The fact that the woman went all the way to UK just to promote childhood literacy is another indication that Miz Parton has a heart.  Many celebrities would plug good deeds that benefit their own country but would really not care much about the plight of some people in another.  Unless they are from third-world nations where it will add to their public relations efforts.

It almost makes me feel bad for all the Dolly Parton jokes we used to tell as kids.  I said almost.  So I am going to share a few of them as I have a feeling Miz Parton would enjoy them too and realise they are uttered with fondness for this classy, funny broad.

Have you seen Dolly Parton's shoes?  No?  Neither has she.

Why is Dolly Parton's waist so small?  
Because nothing grows under a shade.

What song does Kenny Rogers sing when Dolly Parton goes over for a swim?
Islands in the Stream.

How was Dolly Parton brought home last night when she was completely mothered?
Two men abreast.