Sunday, February 17, 2008

Honey Pot

When you were young, did you ever help a friend out by being bait?

You know, when a female friend suspects her boyfriend of being a player or cheating on her and wants to confirm her suspicions?  She calls upon a female friend whom the boyfriend does not know or knows very slightly and sets a trap for him?

When I was young and clueless, I was asked by female friends to provide this aid on a few occasions.  I never said yes because I think it is insulting.  Not to the boyfriend!  I couldn't give a rat's arse.  But to me!

It made me feel like some kind of Venus flytrap and made me wonder at how they really saw me.

Back then, I did not know there was a name for such an activity and that a career could be made from it.  Hmmm, perhaps I should have been more open-minded?

I think not though as I am notoriously bad-tempered and contemptuous of cheaters and players.  At the first sign of loose hands and advancing lips, I might have done some damage to the target.

Still, reading the article from The Sydney Morning Herald made me wonder.  I am of two minds.  Is honey trapping wrong and entrapment?  Or is it a necessary evil?  Who is worse?  The honey trapper or the honey trapped?  Or the one who sets up the honey trap?  It's all rather sordid and I think I need a nice glass of wine now.

Private eye defends "honey trapping"

February 15, 2008 

When Richard Martinez goes to a nightclub or bar, he often goes alone.

But the 38-year-old former RAF officer wastes no time in heading for a target - a woman - to flirt with and flatter.

Martinez will not try too hard, but will allow himself to be drawn into conversation and, if asked, will give out his phone number for a potential future date.

Martinez is a "honey trapper" - or as he likes to call himself, an "integrity tester" - one of a growing team of private detectives who are hired by wives, husbands or partners to test the loyalty of their loved ones.

"It's growing all the time," he says of his business, the Expedite Detective Agency (, which charges £300 ($588) for an integrity test on a potential cheat.

Martinez refutes accusations of marriage-wrecking, arguing that his customers come to him when they are already concerned about their partner's fidelity or when rumours have led them to suspect an affair. But he admits around 80 per cent of targets fail the test and turn out to be ready and willing to cheat on a partner.

Martinez and his colleagues - he has a team of male and female trappers, some more, some less attractive - record the whole "hit" on audio and video, so that the customer can see for themselves how the evening develops.

And Martinez has "rules of engagement": The target must not be drunk, there must be no touching, and the relative attractiveness of the trapper to the target must be equal.

"It's got to be a fair test," he explains. "So we make sure that we don't set a very attractive honey trapper on a not so attractive target, and vice versa."

"The customer needs a fair answer to the question of whether their husband or girlfriend is loyal."

Martinez says that while many of his customers may end their relationships, other use the honey trap to confront unfaithful lovers and appeal to them to change their ways.

"So we can also act as a deterrent," he says. "The customer can say to their partner: 'I caught you this time and I want you to change' and they can warn that they will use the honey trap service in the future to test them again."

He shrugs off criticism that he is fostering mistrust, and insists he is meeting a real need among British couples. But while Martinez is unashamed about what he does, other such detective agencies are more reticent.

At UK Honey Traps, a service based in Worcestershire in the heart of England and offering trappers across the country, they are not keen to talk.

"We don't talk to journalists," a spokesman said by telephone. "It wouldn't help our business."

They are, however, looking for new recruits.

Under the vacancies section of their Web site, the detective service is on the look-out for "confident, bubbly, outgoing men and women with an ability to think on their feet".

Becoming a honey trapper demands reliability, honesty and accuracy, it says, and because most of the trapping takes place outside office hours, it can offer "an ideal second career".