Sunday, February 24, 2008

Ship Sinkers

I had lunch with a plastic surgeon friend and his wife. We were chatting away when the conversation steered to "the perfect face". We pondered on Helen of Troy's visage that could launch a thousand ships and whether that definition of beauty would still be able to set a kayak going in today's context.
Back in the cool oasis of my hotel room, I laconically started doing a search for "the perfect face". One article depicted a facial composite of both the perfect male and female face as according to two Beverly Hills plastic surgeons, Toby Mayer and Richard Fleming. The individual parts are apparently the most requested and sought-after in Horrorwood. The results were startlingly unattractive and very LA. 

The bloke is made up of:
Daniel Craig’s eyes
Leonardo DiCaprio’s nose (why???)
Matt Damon’s lips
Christian Bale’s jaw (I'll take all of him, thank you very much) 
John Stamos‘ hair (that's beyond sad)

The chick is strung together from:
Katie Holmes‘ eyes
Katherine Heigl’s nose
Keira Knightley’s cheeks
Jessica Simpson’s hair (the dye might permeate the brain and kill the few brain cells though)
Angelina Jolie’s lip

Doesn't it look like Elvis gone wrong? Even more wrong than the sequinned leisure suits, sideburns and shades?

The female resembles every Hooters waitress I have come across in the US.

These are the perfect faces? They look more likely to sink a thousand ships instead. I think I'll stick with mine then, warts and all.