Canoe Building - Scottish Style

An intrepid group of adventurers made up of a Brit, an American and a Scotsman go to darkest Africa to look for treasure. And ended up finding a village of cannibals instead. So the chieftain, who's quite a democratic, progressive type who believes in recycling, asks the American.

"Before we eat you and make a canoe out of your skin, do you have any last request?"

The America thinks for a mo, then says, "Can I have 100 cigarettes to smoke before I die?"

So they kindly gave him 100 cigarettes. He puffs them all, gets lung cancer almost immediately and kicks it. The cannibals, not having heard the latest surgeon-general warning, proceeded to eat him & made a canoe out of his skin.

The Brit, seeing this, knows what to ask for. When asked too, "Before we eat you & make a canoe out of your skin, any last request?"

"Yes I do. Unlike that American fag, I would like 100 women to shag please."

So they pick 100 of the choicest women in their village and the next, and the Brit started shagging for all he is worth. He died of Aids, got eaten (again) and his skin was made into a canoe.

Seeing all this, the Scots is thinking furiously. When his turn came, he quickly said, "I'd like a fork if ye please."

The chieftain is surprised, "A ... a fork?"

"Aye."

"O ... K ..."

So they give him a fork.

And our man starts poking himself all over, chanting, "Ye nae make a canoe outta me .. ye nae make a canoe outta me ..."