I'm in the moods for jokes today so you'll see a series of lame ones today. You were warned.
A ventriloquist was travelling along a quiet country road when his car broke down. In desperation, he walked to the nearest farmstead to ask for help.
The farmer was rather suspicious of him and so he thought he could break the ice by telling that he could talk to animals.
Highly diverted but dubious, the farmer pointed at his dog and asked, "OK, ask him how he is."
So the ventriloquist asks the dog, "How you doing, mate? The master treating you well?"
And he began to throw his voice and replied, "Not too bad, really. He feeds me regular and lets me help around the farm. He's alright."
Delighted, the farmer points at his prized rooster. "OK, ok, what about him?"
The ventriloquist again asks the rooster how he was doing and if the master treated him well.
Throwing his voice again, he answered, "I'm a doing quite well, phwack. He feeds me regularly and lets me shag the chickens. Life is good."
They continue walking around the farm. Spotting the farmer's horse grazing quietly, the ventriloquist goes to the horse and asks him the same question without hesitation.
Again he throws his voice to answer that the master was a good man who feeds him regularly and lets him run free all over the farmstead.
Spotting a sheep in the corner, the ventriloquist turns to it and directs the same question to it.
At which, the farmer hurriedly shouts, "The sheep lies!"
The farmer was rather suspicious of him and so he thought he could break the ice by telling that he could talk to animals.
Highly diverted but dubious, the farmer pointed at his dog and asked, "OK, ask him how he is."
So the ventriloquist asks the dog, "How you doing, mate? The master treating you well?"
And he began to throw his voice and replied, "Not too bad, really. He feeds me regular and lets me help around the farm. He's alright."
Delighted, the farmer points at his prized rooster. "OK, ok, what about him?"
The ventriloquist again asks the rooster how he was doing and if the master treated him well.
Throwing his voice again, he answered, "I'm a doing quite well, phwack. He feeds me regularly and lets me shag the chickens. Life is good."
They continue walking around the farm. Spotting the farmer's horse grazing quietly, the ventriloquist goes to the horse and asks him the same question without hesitation.
Again he throws his voice to answer that the master was a good man who feeds him regularly and lets him run free all over the farmstead.
Spotting a sheep in the corner, the ventriloquist turns to it and directs the same question to it.
At which, the farmer hurriedly shouts, "The sheep lies!"
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