Fashion Faux Pas - Armed Privet

I just felt like doing something on fashion after watching a slew of Project Runway episodes.

The fashion in Project Runway is really hit and miss with some atrocities that made what I used to sew for my teddy bears and single doll look like Herve Leger masterpieces.  I admit I am awesome at putting designs on paper but not so hot on the construction and finish.  It's a good thing I only ever made clothings for inanimate objects and myself.  Yes, I have been inanimate on occasions.

Here here are some of my thoughts on the fashion that stalk our runways and streets.  To be fair to the fledging designers on Project Runway, I decided to take the first salvo at the "professionals".  

First up is Armani Prive's Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2008 collection.  I think they are showing their politic and social consciousness by designing a two-piece suit that comes equipped with your own ammo.  For those moments when you are caught in the cross fire and need to do a Rambina.  See the attention to detail in the artillery belt that ends in a mine cannily disguised as a button?

I thought this piece was antiquated and the Armani Prive team have obvious longing for the heydays of the 80s' Dynasty.  But it was nothing compared with the bird-brained concoction that followed.

Hello, I'd like to report the missing ostrich from the San Diego zoo.  The bastards gone and dyed it blue too and strung it with Christmas lights.  Call the RSPCA!  And tell the Japanese we found their souvenir fans too.

Also tell the Japanese we found their origami displays.

I really tried to find a redeeming feature in the Armani Prive collection but it was neigh is impossible.  I left with this last vision in red.  I blame the model who did not realise that a belt is meant on the waist and not velcroed to one tit.